Written on 1st August, 2022.
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Today, August 1st. The beginning of Lunasa (Lughnasadh). On a day that we should begin to grasp and gather energy of the sun from the final stretches of sunlight, ironically today couldn't have been more clouider and dark. Hopefully the next few days will see much better weather (but no humidity please, that sucked today).
As we approach the later half of the year, I want to reflect and take stock of where I am right now. It's the first of the harvests in Ireland. And while I'm not a traditional farmer, I have worked hard to cultivate and create as much art as I can this year. Hopefully, the fruits of that labour will bloom and bring forth the abundance I seek in my creative career, when I go to sell my work at a big show in the UK later this month.
I am incredibly proud of creating all that I could so far this year, despite my ever increasing pain caused by fibromyalgia. The beginning of the year was rather bleak. Along with grieving a loss in the family, I felt some of my worst bout of comparing myself to others, and just feeling like "
what am I doing wrong that's not making me as successful as them?"
As difficult as these thoughts were to battle (and they still can be), today I stand tall. I've overcome all my bad physical pain days so far. I've overcome all my bad mental health days so far. I am true testament to myself. And sure, it's hard accepting that I cannot illustrate as much as I once could. But the biggest respect I can give myself is the wisdom to known when to rest. Rest is as vital to the creative process as is the act of creating. This is a sacred balance I will continue to seek in my creative life. Creating for me, and only me. Resting when my body tells me to. Not letting anything dictate my creative process - no algorithims or memes. I will forever be in charge of the balance I seek to create what sprouts forth from my authentic self.
I am already so abundant in my life. I have the undying support of an incredible family, a wonderful partner, and numerous friends from many different walks of life. I have a decent day job which keeps me afloat. I am thankful for every patron that's supported me financially and from sharing my art. The body that I have is one which has and can still more than withstand a lot of pressure and fears. I have a beautiful, fluffy dog who brightens my life every day. For all of these, I am grateful.
I am grateful for the warm sun on my skin, as well as the fleece blankets warming me in the winter. I'm grateful for the moon always gracing us with it's pressence every month. I am grateful for the glimpse of the ancient past we see through every star.
I am grateful for the very breath I breathe as I type. This alone shows me that I'll always have purpose, no matter what I do.
Lunasa Shona Daoibh.
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